A poem every parent should read

Recently I attended a very productive and informative conference run by Institute of Counsellor Training Research and Consultancy (ICTRC) that focused on a child's right to be understood, to be respected and the need for schools to do more in this regard. Of course considering the kind of school that ICS is, this was a conference that really impacted me and made me want to keep pushing for better education for students in Sri Lanka.

During the course of the day the main facilitator of the conference, Mr Aditya Nair, a practising psychologist and one of the key resource persons at ICTRC (check out their work here), read out a poem he had written about his experiences of education in childhood.

And this poem really struck a cord with me. If only we could hear our children's voices and deliver what they need with love and respect, how different this world would be.

This was the poem he read out:

Sometimes I’m a storm that won’t settle down, A whirlwind of "no" and a permanent frown.

You see a "disruption," a "problem," a "choice," But I’m just a boy with a breaking voice.

Other days, I’m a ghost in the back of the room, Wrapped in a “quiet” and shrouded in gloom.

I’m anxious and sad, but I don’t make a sound, While my world spins in circles and shakes the ground.

It’s the wiring I’m born with, the way that I feel, A heavy, dark lens that makes everything real.

I can’t stop or focus or act like the rest, No matter how hard I am put to the test.

But I’m told that there might be a different way, To soften the shadows and brighten the gray.

With a hand that is steady and a heart that is true, I can find the "me" hidden under the blue.

So, listen today to the why and the how, To the feelings that move inside of me now.

Because I’m not a label to file on a shelf— I’m a child just trying to find myself.

Every parent, every teacher needs to read this. And understand this. 

What makes the work of the ICTRC so important is that it does not stop at theory. It asks us, very directly, to confront how we are actually showing up for children in our schools, in our classrooms, and in our everyday interactions.

Listening to Aditya Nair share this poem was a powerful reminder that behind every behaviour we label, every reaction we try to manage, and every child we try to “fit” into a system, there is a human being trying to be understood.

This is work that every school in Sri Lanka needs to take seriously.  Because understanding and respecting a child is not an “extra” or a “nice to have.” It is the foundation of education itself. Without it, we are not teaching. We are managing. We are controlling. And very often, we are missing the child entirely.

What ICTRC is doing is building that bridge back. Grounding education in psychology, in empathy, in real understanding of how children think, feel, and experience the world. It is work that challenges long-held norms, and more importantly, it gives educators the tools to do better.

This is such important and urgent work, because when we say that children must be respected, that their voices matter, that their individuality must be honoured, this is exactly what it looks like in practice. It is not abstract. It is daily, conscious, intentional work.

If more schools begin to adopt this mindset, to truly listen, to question their own systems, and to prioritise understanding over control, we would see a very different generation of children emerging from our education system. Children who are not just academically capable, but emotionally secure. Not just high-performing, but deeply understood.

And ultimately, that is the responsibility we carry.

To not just educate children, but to see them.